Spring is showing up all around me. There are iris blooming on the west side of my house. Roses are fragrant in my back yard. I have the windows open and a sweet gentle breeze is ebbing in and out like waters rippling at the beach.
Within me God is at work unraveling me and reworking my thoughts. I am doing an online Bible study on ‘Living So That’ by Wendy Blight with Proverbs 31 ministries . I was asked yesterday by a very wise woman – my small group study leader Fancy Nancy – what a heartfelt prayer was to me. I ignored the question. I have known Jesus since I was 17 – I know what prayer is. My day had been long. It was a good day but I was tired my eyes were heavy and was certain I would sleep the moment my head hit the pillow. The question kept coming in my thoughts. I confess I don’t sleep most nights more than 4-5 hours. When I was younger my brain was just full of wonder, hopes and dreams. Now my brain sorts to do lists and rethinks conversations and responses – basically I worry and stress at not being good enough. But it is spring outside and God wants to bring spring to my spirit SO THAT I will be complete and live what and who he has made me to be. So the question my leader asked tossed and turned in my head like my body in bed. What is heartfelt prayer? Have I really experienced such a thing? What is prayer? Is prayer for others? Is prayer for me? So my thoughts kept me awake and finally I crawled out of bed and got out my Bible. I did the ‘flip and read’ and I turned to Luke 22 because I had a bulletin from Easter marking this passage and read- Jesus was betrayed by Judas and goes to pray on the Mount of Olives taking his disciples with him. He tells them to pray they don’t fall into temptation. Jesus then moved away from the disciples and kneels down to pray. As a believer I know Christ is my example so I got on my knees to pray. I read further and see Jesus asked God to take ‘this cup’ from him if it is his will. This is a heartfelt prayer exampled by my Jesus….
Like so many believers today I pray for others. I have my prayer lists. Somehow God got through all my rational thoughts and I had an aha moment. A definition of prayer from the heart…I must focus all of me on talking and listening to God – I must tell God any & everything whether I am happy, sad, hurt, jealous or any other emotion. I am safe in my prayer from the heart. Every thought I have should be a conversation with God and I must keep my mind open to hear so I can move forward in faith and fulfill my purpose and calling.
Yes there was heartfelt prayer. God untangled a little more of the mess inside me. Heartfelt prayer is sharing all of me – good, bad and ugly – then trusting and letting God direct my response to you.