Today has been a hard day. I don’t feel worthy. There has been spiritual warfare. Like Renee describes in Chapter 6 of “A Confident Heart” I searched for ‘happily ever after’ and that search brought me to this place. My visible scars include divorce, two adult children that are keeping themselves at a safe distance and several other issues. Satan thinks he has this victory but I am God’s child (John 1:12) I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child (Ephesians 1:3-8). I am born of God and the evil one can not touch me (1 John 5:18). I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) I have had expectations that ended in disappointment. Emotions have uprooted and fed my doubts. I haven’t focused on the light of truth and who God says I am.
Today’s vents have propelled my thinking away from God. I have written God’s promises on cards to carry with me so I can easily remind myself of who I am.
Future days may not easy. Some days will be full of dancing and praise. Other days will be like today for me – full of tears and the need to remember who God says I am. But I am chosen and God is faithful even when I find myself faithless.
Thank you Jesus for loving me here in this place of doubt when my eyes have not been focused on you and the light of your love.